Never a Dead Mother’s Day
“My life is worthwhile even if I burn all the cookies. The creative process for me is like a path of discovery. So mostly my emotions through it are wonder and curiosity.” ~ Callie Jannoff, Co-Founder, Church of Craft
No child wants to miss their Mother on Mother’s Day. No matter what age the child, even an adult or the elderly. We would give anything to smell her burnt cookies, or her burning cigarette, or even her burnt hair from a curling iron. Mothers make mistakes. Many of them. Known and never known. We would take her mistakes and all if only we could just have one more moment with her after she has passed away.
There are many ways to preserve the everyday bonds of Motherhood for every child, even after death.
Each Mother embeds her bonding to her loved ones through a sense organ of choice.
One Mother might connect the bonds of Motherhood through the sense of smell. She might have a special perfume, a special flower, a special soap, a certain hairspray, laundry detergent, or the scent of room freshener. Some Mothers have a certain scent of a cigarette, a scent of a favorite cocktail, or a favorite chocolate. But when her own child smells that smell, everything about that Mother opens up. A flood of memories both pleasurable and not so pleasurable fill the heart. This type of Mother embedded her bonding through the sense of smell.
Another Mother might have embedded her bond through the sense of taste. Did this Mother have a favorite pancake recipe? Or maybe she bonded through the dipping of bread in a cheese fondue? Maybe it was the ritual of tasting the skirt steak at the local diner at early bird special? Maybe it was the taste of the cashews, or the taste of the Dentyne gum she chewed.
Perhaps it was the sense of touch that is the bonding sense organ of choice for a Mother. If so, then maybe it was the way she brushed her child’s hair, or played with her jewelry. Maybe it was the way she held her pen, or the way she tucked her child into the bed covers at bedtime.
Another Mother might have embedded her bond through the sense of sound. Was bonding remembered by the sound of her laugh, or the way she sighed, hummed or the song she sang to lull her child to sleep at night? Was it the click of her high heels on the hardwood floor, or the sound of her vacuuming the house late at night?
Do visions of red hair or her curls bring to mind Mother? Maybe it is her favorite classic black turtle neck sweater, or the way she raised her eyebrows if she knew you were exaggerating. Maybe it is the way she held herself tall while walking, or the way she waved goodbye. Visual senses pick up triggers that can open the whole bonding experience of Mother.
So if we crave just one more moment with our Mother who has passed on, then all we need do is to surround our senses with those triggers that make us feel the Motherly bond.
We could chew her gum. Eat her fondue. Wear her jewelry. Listen to her lullaby. Smell her favorite flower. And ‘poof’, the bonded feeling of her will be present. Yes, that is all that it takes. All Mothers have the power to bond to her children through the portal of passing with those bonds embedded into the senses. We can all feel the presence of our Mother even though her body is no longer housing her spirit and soul. Everyday Mother bonds last past grief and loss without our even noticing how it happened. A Happy Mother’s Day can happen any day, all year long, everyday when the sensual triggers are present. So wipe your tears. Don’t feel left out with those who have living Mothers to celebrate Mother’s Day. Just surround yourself with your beloved Mother’s triggers that remind you of the love of your Mother.
